The TV Shows Analysis Essay
Order ID |
53563633773 |
Type |
Essay |
Writer Level |
Masters |
Style |
APA |
Sources/References |
4 |
Perfect Number of Pages to Order |
5-10 Pages |
Description/Paper Instructions
The TV Shows Analysis Essay
This is the peer review for the essay.
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- What is the main argument (thesis statement) of this paper? Is it clear from the introduction paragraph what this essay will cover? What do you think about their thesis? Is it compelling and why or why not?
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The thesis of this essay is a bit unclear to me based on the first paragraph, but from what I can tell the essay discusses how gender and class was portrayed in the shows I Love Lucy and Two and a Half Men. Based on the prompt I’m not sure what you’re going for in terms of creative endeavors, cultural artifacts, etc. besides social instruction. Perhaps be more specific and direct on what you’ll be focusing on when discussing the shows in the first paragraph!
I can tell from later into the essay it is about women’s oppression and socioeconomic struggle, and it would be more compelling if it were just a bit more specific! I recall Edward say that you should analyze a specific episode from each show, and I agree with that! I like the summary of the characters and what they learn through the show, but a specific scene that really highlights Lucy and the women in Two and a Half Men and their oppression shown through the show would really strengthen your essay.
Additionally, I think it would be better if you compared the two shows, and highlighted what made women / social classes different in their eras. As we’ve learned, women have gone through much change since the advent of television, and having a paragraph or two about the evolution of women’s oppression would really drive home the purpose of this essay.
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- Which parts of the draft are the most clear to you? What are most vague?
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I actually really enjoyed the parts where you go into specifics of how women are treated in their respective shows. Even though its not explicitly stated they’re from an episode, anthologistically they help understand the kind of message the show put out.
In that same vein however, it isn’t specific enough that I get a strong sense of what they go through. As I mentioned before, any episode from both shows would help!
- Does the paper answer all parts of the required prompt? Which part(s) can be more elaborated?
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The introduction reads vaguely, and from that introduction alone I don’t think I would’ve understood that it would be about women’s oppression and socioeconomic struggle. A more direct thesis that gets straight to the point would help grab the audience’s attention to the essay. I think the general purpose overall was missed in specificity, so just work on the details and it’d be a solid essay!
You may also want to specify a critical lens! Based on a quick Google search yours might fall under a feminist and/or a Marxist one, but I’d get back with Edward on that one.
I actually like this structure of your essay, but like I mentioned earlier, a paragraph to tie the eras together would make for a satisfying ending.
And of course, I’m sure its the case for everyone, but don’t forget to get resources! Perhaps about the Two and a Half Men show, as that does seem to have strong implications on women.
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THE BASICS – check or mark what is present in the current draft.
x Includes short synopsis or descriptions introducing the two shows to the reader.
? Discusses television shows as (2) constructs and makes an argument using (1) critical frame.
❏ Refers to specific moments in episodes to illustrate the main point (textual analysis).
❏ Utilizes 6 sources (4 academic sources).
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- Comment on writing style or organization: What is done well and what are your suggestions for improvement?
Additional comments, concerns, praises?
Overall, it’s a good job! Just get the specifics in, and get that intro cleaned up!
Sorry if it looks a bit odd! I hope it gets the point across! Good luck!!
RUBRIC
QUALITY OF RESPONSE |
NO RESPONSE |
POOR / UNSATISFACTORY |
SATISFACTORY |
GOOD |
EXCELLENT |
Content (worth a maximum of 50% of the total points) |
Zero points: Student failed to submit the final paper. |
20 points out of 50: The essay illustrates poor understanding of the relevant material by failing to address or incorrectly addressing the relevant content; failing to identify or inaccurately explaining/defining key concepts/ideas; ignoring or incorrectly explaining key points/claims and the reasoning behind them; and/or incorrectly or inappropriately using terminology; and elements of the response are lacking. |
30 points out of 50: The essay illustrates a rudimentary understanding of the relevant material by mentioning but not full explaining the relevant content; identifying some of the key concepts/ideas though failing to fully or accurately explain many of them; using terminology, though sometimes inaccurately or inappropriately; and/or incorporating some key claims/points but failing to explain the reasoning behind them or doing so inaccurately. Elements of the required response may also be lacking. |
40 points out of 50: The essay illustrates solid understanding of the relevant material by correctly addressing most of the relevant content; identifying and explaining most of the key concepts/ideas; using correct terminology; explaining the reasoning behind most of the key points/claims; and/or where necessary or useful, substantiating some points with accurate examples. The answer is complete. |
50 points: The essay illustrates exemplary understanding of the relevant material by thoroughly and correctly addressing the relevant content; identifying and explaining all of the key concepts/ideas; using correct terminology explaining the reasoning behind key points/claims and substantiating, as necessary/useful, points with several accurate and illuminating examples. No aspects of the required answer are missing. |
Use of Sources (worth a maximum of 20% of the total points). |
Zero points: Student failed to include citations and/or references. Or the student failed to submit a final paper. |
5 out 20 points: Sources are seldom cited to support statements and/or format of citations are not recognizable as APA 6th Edition format. There are major errors in the formation of the references and citations. And/or there is a major reliance on highly questionable. The Student fails to provide an adequate synthesis of research collected for the paper. |
10 out 20 points: References to scholarly sources are occasionally given; many statements seem unsubstantiated. Frequent errors in APA 6th Edition format, leaving the reader confused about the source of the information. There are significant errors of the formation in the references and citations. And/or there is a significant use of highly questionable sources. |
15 out 20 points: Credible Scholarly sources are used effectively support claims and are, for the most part, clear and fairly represented. APA 6th Edition is used with only a few minor errors. There are minor errors in reference and/or citations. And/or there is some use of questionable sources. |
20 points: Credible scholarly sources are used to give compelling evidence to support claims and are clearly and fairly represented. APA 6th Edition format is used accurately and consistently. The student uses above the maximum required references in the development of the assignment. |
Grammar (worth maximum of 20% of total points) |
Zero points: Student failed to submit the final paper. |
5 points out of 20: The paper does not communicate ideas/points clearly due to inappropriate use of terminology and vague language; thoughts and sentences are disjointed or incomprehensible; organization lacking; and/or numerous grammatical, spelling/punctuation errors |
10 points out 20: The paper is often unclear and difficult to follow due to some inappropriate terminology and/or vague language; ideas may be fragmented, wandering and/or repetitive; poor organization; and/or some grammatical, spelling, punctuation errors |
15 points out of 20: The paper is mostly clear as a result of appropriate use of terminology and minimal vagueness; no tangents and no repetition; fairly good organization; almost perfect grammar, spelling, punctuation, and word usage. |
20 points: The paper is clear, concise, and a pleasure to read as a result of appropriate and precise use of terminology; total coherence of thoughts and presentation and logical organization; and the essay is error free. |
Structure of the Paper (worth 10% of total points) |
Zero points: Student failed to submit the final paper. |
3 points out of 10: Student needs to develop better formatting skills. The paper omits significant structural elements required for and APA 6th edition paper. Formatting of the paper has major flaws. The paper does not conform to APA 6th edition requirements whatsoever. |
5 points out of 10: Appearance of final paper demonstrates the student’s limited ability to format the paper. There are significant errors in formatting and/or the total omission of major components of an APA 6th edition paper. They can include the omission of the cover page, abstract, and page numbers. Additionally the page has major formatting issues with spacing or paragraph formation. Font size might not conform to size requirements. The student also significantly writes too large or too short of and paper |
7 points out of 10: Research paper presents an above-average use of formatting skills. The paper has slight errors within the paper. This can include small errors or omissions with the cover page, abstract, page number, and headers. There could be also slight formatting issues with the document spacing or the font Additionally the paper might slightly exceed or undershoot the specific number of required written pages for the assignment. |
10 points: Student provides a high-caliber, formatted paper. This includes an APA 6th edition cover page, abstract, page number, headers and is double spaced in 12’ Times Roman Font. Additionally, the paper conforms to the specific number of required written pages and neither goes over or under the specified length of the paper. |
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