The Storm We Could Not Escape Writing Analysis
Order ID |
53563633773 |
Type |
Essay |
Writer Level |
Masters |
Style |
APA |
Sources/References |
4 |
Perfect Number of Pages to Order |
5-10 Pages |
Description/Paper Instructions
The Storm We Could Not Escape Writing Analysis
Surviving the wrath of a tornado is a horrifying experience because we had no way of
knowing when and where it was going to strike.
It was in July and the year was 1981. My family had just moved to Oklahoma due to me
father’s job transfer. Our new home was a modest one, and not very protective to the elements
of a storm.
The day the tornado struck I was in my room watching television. A news report came
on saying that severe weather was approaching and that there would be a chance of tornadoes. It
was a little hard to believe because outside we were enjoying the most beautiful day since we
had moved there. The weather would turn out to be short lived. About two hours later the sun
that we had been enjoying seemed to have been swallowed up by the dark gray storm clouds.
The color of bright sunshine had been replaced with the eerie feeling of impending doom. The
darker it became outside the quieter it became. It was almost as if the animals outside knew
what was coming. It started to rain.
As the rain came down it sounded as if someone was beating on our house with a couple
of gigantic drumsticks. Every ten minutes we would get an update from the television.
According to the weatherman, the severe storm was headed our way. The rain grew more
intense. When the next update came on, the weatherman warned that a tornado had touched
down ten miles away from our home. It was then that the power went out.
Last name page
Covered in a complete blanket of darkness, my mother fumbled through the house
looking for candles. As she did, I could hear the pounding of rain turn into the hammering of
hail. Unfortunately, some items were still packed away and this included the candles. The only
light we had come from a lighter. Now that we had no electricity, we could not get the updates
from the television. We sat there to wait it out. About five minutes later the hail stopped and the
howl of the winds picked up. I could see by the change of expression on my parent’s face that
this was not a good thing. We needed to take shelter. The house did not have a basement in it so
our only option was to go outside and get into the cellar.
When we opened the front door to go outside the wind smacked us in the face. I heard
my mother scream, “Oh my God, look!” There it was in the middle of the field heading right
toward us. As the funnel cloud ripped through the field it tore up the ground like a giant weed
whacker. With the strike of lightning, you could see that it was carrying debris of recent victims
along with it. We only had a couple of minutes until it would be upon us. The soft and muddied
ground gave way with each step as we ran toward the cellar. The cellar doors are bound with a
thick metal chain wrapped around the handles. Using the rusted shovel that was lying next to
the cellar, my father broke the doors away from their hinges.
Running down the warped stairs I had to catch myself on the railing due to the slippery
mold with which the stairs were covered. We huddled in the far corner waiting for the worst.
You could tell that the cellar doors had not been open in years because of the thick smell of
fungus. The only residents to it now were the spiders that you could feel scurrying across your
feet. My back was pressed against the hard concrete wall and I could feel the cold rain slide
down into the back of my shirt. The tornado then struck our home. Although I was sitting in
complete darkness, I shut my eyes as tight as I could.
The first thing I could hear were the windows shattering as if smashed with one of me
baseballs. I was then faced with a sound I could not quite make out. It sounds similar to
someone taking bites out of a huge piece of celery. The sound was the house being ripped of its
foundation. Then the noise stopped. We sat there for what felt like hours waiting for the tornado
to come back, but it never did. A bright beam of light came through the opening left by the
cellar doors. The sunshine was back. I now knew what it was like to stand on the threshold of
disaster.
The scene outside seemed like something out of a movie. The house was obliterated.
The only thing left to show a home even existed there was the torn and mangled water pipes.
Our landscaping now consisted of no more than the torn and splintered debris from the storm.
All of our accomplishments and dreams had disappeared with the funnel cloud. Even our car
was nowhere to be found. My parent’s assured me that they would buy me all new things, but
the only thing I wanted was the innocence lost with that storm.
after you read
Does the writer of the sample essay in this week’s module use at least three of the five senses? Which ones does he use?
Sight? Sound? Smell? Taste? Touch?
What is your favorite description in this essay and why?
RUBRIC
QUALITY OF RESPONSE |
NO RESPONSE |
POOR / UNSATISFACTORY |
SATISFACTORY |
GOOD |
EXCELLENT |
Content (worth a maximum of 50% of the total points) |
Zero points: Student failed to submit the final paper. |
20 points out of 50: The essay illustrates poor understanding of the relevant material by failing to address or incorrectly addressing the relevant content; failing to identify or inaccurately explaining/defining key concepts/ideas; ignoring or incorrectly explaining key points/claims and the reasoning behind them; and/or incorrectly or inappropriately using terminology; and elements of the response are lacking. |
30 points out of 50: The essay illustrates a rudimentary understanding of the relevant material by mentioning but not full explaining the relevant content; identifying some of the key concepts/ideas though failing to fully or accurately explain many of them; using terminology, though sometimes inaccurately or inappropriately; and/or incorporating some key claims/points but failing to explain the reasoning behind them or doing so inaccurately. Elements of the required response may also be lacking. |
40 points out of 50: The essay illustrates solid understanding of the relevant material by correctly addressing most of the relevant content; identifying and explaining most of the key concepts/ideas; using correct terminology; explaining the reasoning behind most of the key points/claims; and/or where necessary or useful, substantiating some points with accurate examples. The answer is complete. |
50 points: The essay illustrates exemplary understanding of the relevant material by thoroughly and correctly addressing the relevant content; identifying and explaining all of the key concepts/ideas; using correct terminology explaining the reasoning behind key points/claims and substantiating, as necessary/useful, points with several accurate and illuminating examples. No aspects of the required answer are missing. |
Use of Sources (worth a maximum of 20% of the total points). |
Zero points: Student failed to include citations and/or references. Or the student failed to submit a final paper. |
5 out 20 points: Sources are seldom cited to support statements and/or format of citations are not recognizable as APA 6th Edition format. There are major errors in the formation of the references and citations. And/or there is a major reliance on highly questionable. The Student fails to provide an adequate synthesis of research collected for the paper. |
10 out 20 points: References to scholarly sources are occasionally given; many statements seem unsubstantiated. Frequent errors in APA 6th Edition format, leaving the reader confused about the source of the information. There are significant errors of the formation in the references and citations. And/or there is a significant use of highly questionable sources. |
15 out 20 points: Credible Scholarly sources are used effectively support claims and are, for the most part, clear and fairly represented. APA 6th Edition is used with only a few minor errors. There are minor errors in reference and/or citations. And/or there is some use of questionable sources. |
20 points: Credible scholarly sources are used to give compelling evidence to support claims and are clearly and fairly represented. APA 6th Edition format is used accurately and consistently. The student uses above the maximum required references in the development of the assignment. |
Grammar (worth maximum of 20% of total points) |
Zero points: Student failed to submit the final paper. |
5 points out of 20: The paper does not communicate ideas/points clearly due to inappropriate use of terminology and vague language; thoughts and sentences are disjointed or incomprehensible; organization lacking; and/or numerous grammatical, spelling/punctuation errors |
10 points out 20: The paper is often unclear and difficult to follow due to some inappropriate terminology and/or vague language; ideas may be fragmented, wandering and/or repetitive; poor organization; and/or some grammatical, spelling, punctuation errors |
15 points out of 20: The paper is mostly clear as a result of appropriate use of terminology and minimal vagueness; no tangents and no repetition; fairly good organization; almost perfect grammar, spelling, punctuation, and word usage. |
20 points: The paper is clear, concise, and a pleasure to read as a result of appropriate and precise use of terminology; total coherence of thoughts and presentation and logical organization; and the essay is error free. |
Structure of the Paper (worth 10% of total points) |
Zero points: Student failed to submit the final paper. |
3 points out of 10: Student needs to develop better formatting skills. The paper omits significant structural elements required for and APA 6th edition paper. Formatting of the paper has major flaws. The paper does not conform to APA 6th edition requirements whatsoever. |
5 points out of 10: Appearance of final paper demonstrates the student’s limited ability to format the paper. There are significant errors in formatting and/or the total omission of major components of an APA 6th edition paper. They can include the omission of the cover page, abstract, and page numbers. Additionally the page has major formatting issues with spacing or paragraph formation. Font size might not conform to size requirements. The student also significantly writes too large or too short of and paper |
7 points out of 10: Research paper presents an above-average use of formatting skills. The paper has slight errors within the paper. This can include small errors or omissions with the cover page, abstract, page number, and headers. There could be also slight formatting issues with the document spacing or the font Additionally the paper might slightly exceed or undershoot the specific number of required written pages for the assignment. |
10 points: Student provides a high-caliber, formatted paper. This includes an APA 6th edition cover page, abstract, page number, headers and is double spaced in 12’ Times Roman Font. Additionally, the paper conforms to the specific number of required written pages and neither goes over or under the specified length of the paper. |
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