Explaining the Psychological Phenomenon Portfolio Revisions
Order ID 53563633773 Type Essay Writer Level Masters Style APA Sources/References 4 Perfect Number of Pages to Order 5-10 Pages Description/Paper Instructions
Explaining the Psychological Phenomenon Portfolio Revisions
Final Portfolio Revisions
Due Friday, April 26 OR Wednesday, May 1
(by midnight) on Blackboard
“Re-vision—the act of looking back, of seeing with fresh eyes, of entering an old text from a new critical direction…” – Adrienne Rich
Focus
The Nobel Laureate William Faulkner died still contemplating how he might revise his critically and commercially acclaimed novel The Sound and the Fury. He described the book as the one “that [he] anguished the most over, that [he] worked the hardest at” and also called it his “most splendid failure.”
This example, as extreme as it surely is, indicates a kind of writerly ethos that I would like you to inhabit for this upcoming revision assignment. Try to mull over in your mind the idea that writing can always be improved, that it is not ultimately about a grade or about approval from others but about achieving a kind of integrity to the argument and to the prose that is matched in spirit by the integrity of the author and their desire to become better at the craft of writing. This assignment will give you the opportunity to fully invest in the revision stage of the writing process by asking you to start from what were once final drafts. It will ask you to not only make revisions but to keep track of your changes and encourage you to take ownership of your work and justify the writing choices you’ve made.
Task
Choose two of your previous assignments and revise them: To demonstrate your revision skills, you’ll need to select two that allow room for improvement. A1, A2 and A3 are all eligible for the final portfolio, but use caution if choosing A3. (Because you only just finished writing A3, you may not yet have enough critical distance to approach it with fresh eyes. Note, also, that I won’t have time to give you margin notes on A3, so you’ll have to make do with just my end comments.) If you originally got an A- on an assignment, but you still want to revise it for the final portfolio, please be aware that all features of the text, including the language, will be held to the highest standard. (And, no, you will not have to re-do any companion essays or ancillary materials for this assignment.)
Type two separate “Description of Changes” documents, one for each revised piece: Along with the final copy of each revision, please include a document that describes and justifies the major changes you made. What did you change and why? Make sure you explain where the revision came from—whether it was self-motivated or inspired by a comment from a peer or from me. If you decide not to make a significant revision that I suggested in my comments on the original draft, that’s fine; note what you didn’t change and explain why. When describing minor sentence-level changes involving grammar or style, just summarize them briefly.
Keep in mind that revision does not simply entail making surface changes or merely implementing the changes that I suggested. Revisions should be dramatic and self-motivated. This is your opportunity to put your rhetorical judgment to work in deciding what are the best ways of improving your paper, be it advice from a peer, from your professor or from your own inner editor.
Grading Rubric: (worth 30%)
A The revision demonstrates excellent rhetorical judgment and application of feedback.
B The revision demonstrates above average rhetorical judgment and application of feedback.
C The revision demonstrates average rhetorical judgment and application of feedback.
D The revision demonstrates below average rhetorical judgment and application of feedback.
F The revision demonstrates poor rhetorical judgment and application of feedback.
SAMPLE DESCRIPTION OF CHANGE
Page 1: N/A
Page 2
In response to your suggestion and the peer-review, I combined and condensed the first two paragraphs into a single introduction. It made more sense structurally, and gives readers a straightforward thesis at the end of the introduction, right where they typically expect it.
Based on suggestions from you and my peers, I changed my word choice in the first paragraph to strengthen my claim in topic sentence #1.
Because of your comments, I got rid of the parentheses including examples of the imagery of bulimia ads, and expanded a bit on them to explain more of how they’re relevant and interesting.
As per my peer’s suggestion, I combined two paragraphs to enhance the essay’s flow, and bolster my claim with cohesive evidence and support
Page 3
As per your suggestion, I added support from the field of sociology in order to make my interpretation of the bulimia ad more convincing and memorable. I did this by using information from a research paper that concluded that people tend to turn away from the grotesque.
Based on notes from my peers and from you, I added a transition to my topic sentence to make my claim clearer and my transition smoother.
I added a credible source explaining the psychological phenomenon I mentioned in order to appeal to the reader’s sense of ethos.
Page 4
After reading through my essay, I was self-motivated to combine these two paragraphs so as not to disrupt the overall flow of the essay, since they both deal with the same topic: self-control as it relates to beauty as the overarching reason for the popularity of anti-anorexia ads.
I decided that my claim would be more substantial if I added scientific evidence to support my idea, so I added a source validating my line of reasoning that enhances the paper’s appeal to ethos.
Based on my peer’s suggestions I combined the two paragraphs in order to better juxtapose the self-control present in anorexia, and it’s lack thereof in bulimia. It makes the comparison of the two diseases both stronger and more apparent.
Page 5
Based on your comments, I reworded the topic sentence to have a more apparent transition between the topics of self-control and innocence as it relates to the overarching societal value of beauty.
I was self-motivated to cite my scholarly source to bolster both ethos and logos in my claim that females make up 85-95% of the population suffering from anorexia and bulimia.
As per your suggestion, I added and elaborated upon counterclaim that bulimics can vomit in private. I thought this was a good way to add an organic-style counterargument into my essay. By anticipating this potential counter, and addressing why it is false, I added credibility to my overall claim.
Page 6
I used your suggestion to edit word choice and restructure syntax to avoid starting a lot of my sentences with indefinite pronouns (i.e. “it”), which makes the essay more direct and argumentative in its use of the active voice, rather than the passive.
I edited the word choice in the Call-to-Action to reflect the passage of time since I initially wrote the essay. This was necessary because the C2A referred to NEDAwareness Week 2016 (Feb. 21st – Feb 27th) beginning in 2 weeks from when the essay was written, but it has now been roughly 2 months since NEDAwareness Week 2016.
RUBRIC
QUALITY OF RESPONSE NO RESPONSE POOR / UNSATISFACTORY SATISFACTORY GOOD EXCELLENT Content (worth a maximum of 50% of the total points) Zero points: Student failed to submit the final paper. 20 points out of 50: The essay illustrates poor understanding of the relevant material by failing to address or incorrectly addressing the relevant content; failing to identify or inaccurately explaining/defining key concepts/ideas; ignoring or incorrectly explaining key points/claims and the reasoning behind them; and/or incorrectly or inappropriately using terminology; and elements of the response are lacking. 30 points out of 50: The essay illustrates a rudimentary understanding of the relevant material by mentioning but not full explaining the relevant content; identifying some of the key concepts/ideas though failing to fully or accurately explain many of them; using terminology, though sometimes inaccurately or inappropriately; and/or incorporating some key claims/points but failing to explain the reasoning behind them or doing so inaccurately. Elements of the required response may also be lacking. 40 points out of 50: The essay illustrates solid understanding of the relevant material by correctly addressing most of the relevant content; identifying and explaining most of the key concepts/ideas; using correct terminology; explaining the reasoning behind most of the key points/claims; and/or where necessary or useful, substantiating some points with accurate examples. The answer is complete. 50 points: The essay illustrates exemplary understanding of the relevant material by thoroughly and correctly addressing the relevant content; identifying and explaining all of the key concepts/ideas; using correct terminology explaining the reasoning behind key points/claims and substantiating, as necessary/useful, points with several accurate and illuminating examples. No aspects of the required answer are missing. Use of Sources (worth a maximum of 20% of the total points). Zero points: Student failed to include citations and/or references. Or the student failed to submit a final paper. 5 out 20 points: Sources are seldom cited to support statements and/or format of citations are not recognizable as APA 6th Edition format. There are major errors in the formation of the references and citations. And/or there is a major reliance on highly questionable. The Student fails to provide an adequate synthesis of research collected for the paper. 10 out 20 points: References to scholarly sources are occasionally given; many statements seem unsubstantiated. Frequent errors in APA 6th Edition format, leaving the reader confused about the source of the information. There are significant errors of the formation in the references and citations. And/or there is a significant use of highly questionable sources. 15 out 20 points: Credible Scholarly sources are used effectively support claims and are, for the most part, clear and fairly represented. APA 6th Edition is used with only a few minor errors. There are minor errors in reference and/or citations. And/or there is some use of questionable sources. 20 points: Credible scholarly sources are used to give compelling evidence to support claims and are clearly and fairly represented. APA 6th Edition format is used accurately and consistently. The student uses above the maximum required references in the development of the assignment. Grammar (worth maximum of 20% of total points) Zero points: Student failed to submit the final paper. 5 points out of 20: The paper does not communicate ideas/points clearly due to inappropriate use of terminology and vague language; thoughts and sentences are disjointed or incomprehensible; organization lacking; and/or numerous grammatical, spelling/punctuation errors 10 points out 20: The paper is often unclear and difficult to follow due to some inappropriate terminology and/or vague language; ideas may be fragmented, wandering and/or repetitive; poor organization; and/or some grammatical, spelling, punctuation errors 15 points out of 20: The paper is mostly clear as a result of appropriate use of terminology and minimal vagueness; no tangents and no repetition; fairly good organization; almost perfect grammar, spelling, punctuation, and word usage. 20 points: The paper is clear, concise, and a pleasure to read as a result of appropriate and precise use of terminology; total coherence of thoughts and presentation and logical organization; and the essay is error free. Structure of the Paper (worth 10% of total points) Zero points: Student failed to submit the final paper. 3 points out of 10: Student needs to develop better formatting skills. The paper omits significant structural elements required for and APA 6th edition paper. Formatting of the paper has major flaws. The paper does not conform to APA 6th edition requirements whatsoever. 5 points out of 10: Appearance of final paper demonstrates the student’s limited ability to format the paper. There are significant errors in formatting and/or the total omission of major components of an APA 6th edition paper. They can include the omission of the cover page, abstract, and page numbers. Additionally the page has major formatting issues with spacing or paragraph formation. Font size might not conform to size requirements. The student also significantly writes too large or too short of and paper 7 points out of 10: Research paper presents an above-average use of formatting skills. The paper has slight errors within the paper. This can include small errors or omissions with the cover page, abstract, page number, and headers. There could be also slight formatting issues with the document spacing or the font Additionally the paper might slightly exceed or undershoot the specific number of required written pages for the assignment. 10 points: Student provides a high-caliber, formatted paper. This includes an APA 6th edition cover page, abstract, page number, headers and is double spaced in 12’ Times Roman Font. Additionally, the paper conforms to the specific number of required written pages and neither goes over or under the specified length of the paper. GET THIS PROJECT NOW BY CLICKING ON THIS LINK TO PLACE THE ORDER
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