Addiction within the Military Community
Order ID 53563633773 Type Essay Writer Level Masters Style APA Sources/References 4 Perfect Number of Pages to Order 5-10 Pages Description/Paper Instructions
Addiction within the Military Community
Revision Plan: Addiction within the Military Community
Jefferson Tillery
Capella University
WRIT6088
Nicole Milnes
Sept 1st 2021
Areas That Require Improvement
Introduction
Revise my introduction: in the current essay, my introduction focuses on addiction and the effects on the military community, especially those in the war. Besides, the introduction focuses on the primary effects of addiction to all people as well as physical effects among the war people, such as leg injuries and amputations.
Since I feel that the approach is wrong, I would like to focus on the specific effects and challenges that addiction has demonstrated in the military community. Besides, my introduction should focus on different scenarios in the military community where addiction has been identified as a benefit or a threat to society.
Maybe the introduction should look like this: “Over the years, addiction has been a serious concern among the military community globally. Addiction has encouraged both positive and negative effects to both the national security and the land militants over a long time. Majorly, addiction is a chronic disease that affects the functioning of the brain and the physical well-being of a person. For example, a greater percentage of militants in a peacekeeping mission suffer from mental health disorders and physiological problems resulting from addiction, which affected the outcome of the peacekeeping mission.
According to research conducted by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, many militants who suffer from addiction are more likely to be active than those who do not suffer from addiction….”
Thesis Statement
Revise my thesis: right now, my thesis is unclear. I feel it is not very clear. I think that it should flow like this: “Thus addiction is a dangerous problem among the military community which is caused by several factors including psychological distress and combat experience.
Further, addiction is associated with the underlying military culture and increased injury risks. Military addiction can be managed through the screening, prevention, and treatment of the affected.”
The thesis statement gives a clear solution to the given problem.
In-text Citations and References
Revise my reference list as well as my in-text citations: although my references may be relevant and credible, they may be unreliable. A reliable reference list should be from the last five years. Reliability means that the information is still accurate and can be used to research a problem and give a solution to the problem.
Currently, the essay has outdated references such as publications from 2011 and 2015, which are below five years. Such changes in references will help formulate my argument providing specific and accurate information towards the research paper. Besides, the current document does not follow the current APA citation guidelines. I understand that I should use “et al.” for more than two authors to describe that they are many authors, but the “et al., should not be italicized. For instance, it should be (Goodwin et al., 2020) rather than (Goodwin et al., 2020).
Revision Timeline
Currently, the essay does not emphasize some significant issues associated with addiction among the military community. Therefore, the timeline below presents some of the topics which will be revisited in the future.
Time required Topic to be completed Two weeks Physical and psychological disorders associated with addiction among the military community and how they affect their call to duty. One week Types of illicit drugs and substances abused by the military community and how they positively and negatively influence their duty and responsibility in the military operations. Two weeks Similarities and differences between veterans and active duty and how they consume legal and illegal drugs in their operations. One week Do we agree that the use of illicit drugs and substances can lead to addiction and violation of military rules and regulations among the national security? The revision process may be incomplete due to lack of the following writing and revision elements;
Organization: the paper lacks an appropriate outline which means that the writing takes more time than required. Having what is needed in the essay ensures that the author develops a good essay with a good flow, thus ensuring one writes a cohesive piece.
RUBRIC
QUALITY OF RESPONSE NO RESPONSE POOR / UNSATISFACTORY SATISFACTORY GOOD EXCELLENT Content (worth a maximum of 50% of the total points) Zero points: Student failed to submit the final paper. 20 points out of 50: The essay illustrates poor understanding of the relevant material by failing to address or incorrectly addressing the relevant content; failing to identify or inaccurately explaining/defining key concepts/ideas; ignoring or incorrectly explaining key points/claims and the reasoning behind them; and/or incorrectly or inappropriately using terminology; and elements of the response are lacking. 30 points out of 50: The essay illustrates a rudimentary understanding of the relevant material by mentioning but not full explaining the relevant content; identifying some of the key concepts/ideas though failing to fully or accurately explain many of them; using terminology, though sometimes inaccurately or inappropriately; and/or incorporating some key claims/points but failing to explain the reasoning behind them or doing so inaccurately. Elements of the required response may also be lacking. 40 points out of 50: The essay illustrates solid understanding of the relevant material by correctly addressing most of the relevant content; identifying and explaining most of the key concepts/ideas; using correct terminology; explaining the reasoning behind most of the key points/claims; and/or where necessary or useful, substantiating some points with accurate examples. The answer is complete. 50 points: The essay illustrates exemplary understanding of the relevant material by thoroughly and correctly addressing the relevant content; identifying and explaining all of the key concepts/ideas; using correct terminology explaining the reasoning behind key points/claims and substantiating, as necessary/useful, points with several accurate and illuminating examples. No aspects of the required answer are missing. Use of Sources (worth a maximum of 20% of the total points). Zero points: Student failed to include citations and/or references. Or the student failed to submit a final paper. 5 out 20 points: Sources are seldom cited to support statements and/or format of citations are not recognizable as APA 6th Edition format. There are major errors in the formation of the references and citations. And/or there is a major reliance on highly questionable. The Student fails to provide an adequate synthesis of research collected for the paper. 10 out 20 points: References to scholarly sources are occasionally given; many statements seem unsubstantiated. Frequent errors in APA 6th Edition format, leaving the reader confused about the source of the information. There are significant errors of the formation in the references and citations. And/or there is a significant use of highly questionable sources. 15 out 20 points: Credible Scholarly sources are used effectively support claims and are, for the most part, clear and fairly represented. APA 6th Edition is used with only a few minor errors. There are minor errors in reference and/or citations. And/or there is some use of questionable sources. 20 points: Credible scholarly sources are used to give compelling evidence to support claims and are clearly and fairly represented. APA 6th Edition format is used accurately and consistently. The student uses above the maximum required references in the development of the assignment. Grammar (worth maximum of 20% of total points) Zero points: Student failed to submit the final paper. 5 points out of 20: The paper does not communicate ideas/points clearly due to inappropriate use of terminology and vague language; thoughts and sentences are disjointed or incomprehensible; organization lacking; and/or numerous grammatical, spelling/punctuation errors 10 points out 20: The paper is often unclear and difficult to follow due to some inappropriate terminology and/or vague language; ideas may be fragmented, wandering and/or repetitive; poor organization; and/or some grammatical, spelling, punctuation errors 15 points out of 20: The paper is mostly clear as a result of appropriate use of terminology and minimal vagueness; no tangents and no repetition; fairly good organization; almost perfect grammar, spelling, punctuation, and word usage. 20 points: The paper is clear, concise, and a pleasure to read as a result of appropriate and precise use of terminology; total coherence of thoughts and presentation and logical organization; and the essay is error free. Structure of the Paper (worth 10% of total points) Zero points: Student failed to submit the final paper. 3 points out of 10: Student needs to develop better formatting skills. The paper omits significant structural elements required for and APA 6th edition paper. Formatting of the paper has major flaws. The paper does not conform to APA 6th edition requirements whatsoever. 5 points out of 10: Appearance of final paper demonstrates the student’s limited ability to format the paper. There are significant errors in formatting and/or the total omission of major components of an APA 6th edition paper. They can include the omission of the cover page, abstract, and page numbers. Additionally the page has major formatting issues with spacing or paragraph formation. Font size might not conform to size requirements. The student also significantly writes too large or too short of and paper 7 points out of 10: Research paper presents an above-average use of formatting skills. The paper has slight errors within the paper. This can include small errors or omissions with the cover page, abstract, page number, and headers. There could be also slight formatting issues with the document spacing or the font Additionally the paper might slightly exceed or undershoot the specific number of required written pages for the assignment. 10 points: Student provides a high-caliber, formatted paper. This includes an APA 6th edition cover page, abstract, page number, headers and is double spaced in 12’ Times Roman Font. Additionally, the paper conforms to the specific number of required written pages and neither goes over or under the specified length of the paper. GET THIS PROJECT NOW BY CLICKING ON THIS LINK TO PLACE THE ORDER
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