Paper instructions:
As we have read this week and throughout these past few weeks, sex and sexuality are not easy to define and many confusion, embarrassment and rejection comes when these topics get discussed. Certain concepts and ideas that may be subtle to the surface in society but obvious beneath are discussed and questioned. Questions like “what is considered normal” and “what does virginity mean?” “what can I do to stop the double bind?” all arose.
Challenging sexual scripts can be one way to become your own person instead of falling in line with everyone else. Sexual scripts are guidelines of how we are supposed to act or behave in situations that are shaped by communities that we participate in. But everyone is different… “What is desirable or acceptable to one person may be unacceptable or even disgusting to another,” (Shaw & Lee, 2015, pg. 314). I like this quote because it’s like when someone is eating something next to you that you don’t like. They might enjoy it but you don’t. So what? That is life.
An interesting study I found on a feminist forum (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. highlights the relationship between rape and sexual scripts. The article and the study explain how rape myths that are highlighted in the in society as a whole as well as in the media and influence sexual scripts and even determine behavior and attitude. “These sexual scripts include the beliefs that sex defines masculinity, heterosexual men objectify women, and heterosexual men are sexually preoccupied,” (2011, Ryan). After reading this week’s lesson will you challenge, or negotiate social or sexual scripts in the future? Do you ever feel like you are supposed to feel a certain way in a certain situation? How do you react to that feeling? Do you go along with everyone else or do you focus on your own feelings?
ANSWER TO THE QUESTION
The pervasiveness of sexual scripts in today’s society cannot be understated. While most people have to contend with fulfilling the societal expectations of how they carry themselves both socially and sexually, the choice of what to adhere to should be left to the discretion of a particular individual. Moreover, this decision should be based on their personal inclinations. I cannot negotiate social and sexual scripts as it all boils down to the expectations I have for sex. The society can be quite unforgiving, especially when it comes to its perception of the female species. Women are expected to observe certain social conventions that may not augur well with their personal feelings. In situations like when having sex, women are viewed as mere tools for the sexual enjoyment of men, indeed, the length of a sexual encounter is pegged on how long the man lasts. If this is the norm, then women should be allowed to control the sexual process, if not, then I do not see any problem with turning to a fellow woman for sexual satisfaction.
I cannot strive to satisfy every desire by the society to manipulate me and make me realize their expectations of me. I believe that I am my biggest investment, and I would be doing myself an injustice by opting to subscribe to societal conventions that were outlined even before I was born. These are the same rules that were applied to my grandmother, and her grandmother before her. Why then should I get on this train? I cannot subject myself to misery to accommodate other people’s feelings. Although making the people around me happy is a virtuous endeavor, my feelings preempt everybody’s opinions, moreover, sacrificing my happiness for other people is an unsustainable effort.
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